The Dark One's Dictionary
Aem'Bors Baerce ( Joe "Uno" Shaw &Bill "Fain" Garrett ) HTML conversion by Helmut Geyer
April 1994

What follows is the result of a couple months of quite sporadic work by the authors, work that was frequently interrupted by Real Life and by The Great Hoax. The idea was originally hatched by the first author back in January, but he needed help to completely realize the dream. Special thanks for Robert Jordan for writing the books we all know and love. Dedicated to our fellow rasfw Jordanites: thanks for all the fun. Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. All the characters and events mentioned in this dictionary are derivative, and any references to real people and events are purely intentional.

A note on dates in this dictionary: The Toman Calendar (devised by Toman dur Calendar) was adopted approximately two centuries after the destruction of the last Michael Jackson music video, recording years After Breakdancing (AB). So many records were destroyed in the Trolloc Wars that at their end there was argument about who had performed which song first. Records were also difficult to carry, so the Cassette Age (CA) was introduced. When Artur Hawkwing founded his empire, he found that the current calendar, which marked years from midwinter to midwinter, was inefficient for government planning. Why, it would often take his tax collectors six months to squeeze the royal levy out of everyone. To facilitate the scheduling of government projects, he attempted to establish the system of Fiscal Years (FY) under which years ran from Autumn to Autumn, allowing sufficient time to collect and distribute revenues following the end of the calendar year, but this is now known and referred to only by accountants. After the widespread debauchery, devilry and disruption of Song of the Hundred Beers (on the wall, take one off...) a fourth calendar was devised by Urin din Jubal Harsh Saw, and records years of the Now Ending era (NE).
If you just want to look for one definition, look at the
Index .

An Aes Sedai not yet completely out of touch with the world. It normally takes 5 to 10 years to become this aloof. Accepted wear a Great Serpent ring, displaying it prominently on the middle finger of their left hand. Upon becoming full Aes Sedai, they may wear it upon any finger, although most wear it on the middle finger of the right or left hand. (See Aes Sedai .)

Aes Sedai
In the Old Tongue, Busybodies. Since the Time of Madness, all Aes Sedai are women, of course, since only men know what is really going on in the world.

Age of Legends
The Age that comes after the Age of Myths, and before the Age of Memories. Legends from this age are passed on in gleeman's tales, such as the stories about the Anla the Wiseass Counselor, who had to repeat herself a Thousand Times because no one believed her; of Mosk and Merk the Giants, the tag-team duo whose Lances of Fire kept them atop the WWF, the World-Wide Federation of nations; and of how if someone made an evil wish upon a star, it would fall to earth and land at their feet, and when that person or anyone else held the silvery star, it would remind them of their greed and pride.

A covetous bastard who got burned for his greed.

The people who live in the Aiel Waste. Their true name is the People of the Dragon, but this name is known only to those who have been to Rhuidean. The name Aiel is said to have been coined by a drunk clan chief to cover a slip of the tongue. According to legend, the clan chief said something about the people being named after a mythical beast that no one has ever seen or believes exists. When a Stone Dawg asked him what animal he was referring to, the clan chief answered with the name of a electrifying aquatic animal that he had heard of once in a gleeman's tale. (See Rhuidean .)

Aiel Waste
Harsh, low-rent district beyond the Spine of the World. Called the Three-ply Land by the Aiel and Arse of the World by westerners.

Societies among the Aes Sedai, to which all Aes Sedai belong, except the Amyrlin Seat who is the sole member of the Rainbow Ajah. They are designated by colors: Blue, Red, White, Green, Brown, Yellow, and Gray Ajah. Each follows a specific philosophy of the use of the Power and the purposes of the Aes Sedai. For example, the Red Ajah bends all its energies to finding men who can channel and gentling them, so that they cannot spread the truth, which the Reds see as vicious lies. The White Ajah loses touch with the world by dedicating itself to questions of philosophy and truth, which have no application to the real world. The Brown Ajah, on the other hand, knowingly forsakes involvement with the world to see knowledge and study history, which any fool knows will repeat itself anyway, so why bother studying the past? The Blue Ajah mucks around with causes, manipulating governments and societies for their own benefit and personal pleasure. The Yellow is primarily interested in healing, but seldom affiliates with 'regular people', so they're not much good. The Gray likes settling arguments, but as everyone knows, the best way to settle an argument in your own favor is to start it and blame it all on someone else. In this way, the Grays are like the Blues, but much craftier. The Green Ajah talks about preparing for battle, but its main interest is in meeting guys. There are rumors of a Black Ajah dedicated to serving Ishamael's 'needs', but these rumors are hotly denied.

A country in southeastern Randland, home of the Children of the Light. The King is essentially a puppet of the Children. Laws are strict and punishments are draconian. For example, cattle rustling is punishable by branding (with a white-hot iron), while attempted suicide is punishable by death. Beating a woman carries a penalty of losing one's hand, except if she's your wife, in which case the penalty is only a fine of 1 silver mark. The surplus forelimbs are given to the Questioners, properly known as the Hand of the Light. (See Whitecloaks , Children of the Light .)

Amyrlin Seat

1. The chief meddler of the Aes Sedai, the Flamebait of Tar Valon.
2. The wicker and plaid-upholstered recliner upon which the Amyrlin sits.
3. The Amyrlin's rear end.
(See Aes Sedai , Tar Valon .)

The only country not typified by the odd customs that seem so prevalent in other countries and lands.

A mysterious device which allows a channeler to use more of the One Power than he or she can safely use unaided. Angreal do not have any power in and of themselves, and in fact probably do nothing except boost the user's confidence to produce psychosomatic results.

Arad Doman
A country currently in anarchy and civil war, caused, no doubt, by the fact that most Domani merchants are women.

A man who didn't learn to fly before he hit the ground.

Twice and thrice shall he change faith,
twice to Light, and thrice to Dark,
Once to Light, to build his cliff,
Twice to Light: the blade of grass.
Once to Shadow, to name him true.
Twice to Shadow, to be undone.
Thrice to Shadow, for the final fall.

Known as the Tree of Life, a clipping of this magnificent arbor was given to King Laman of Cairhien by the Aiel as a token of appreciation for obscure sexual favors. Laman chopped it down to build his throne and when the Aiel confronted him about this, he bravely replied, "I cannot tell a lie; I chopped it down," and was promptly executed.

A woman of the Bitter Water sept of the Doodad Aiel. She seems to have spent an inordinate amount time watching Elayne's body while in Tear. (See Sniffer .)

A truly rotten man, destroyed by the environmentalist party.

In the Trolloc Tongue, Joseph Conrad. In the Old Tongue, Black as the Ace of Spades. You can never be sure whether the Ba'alzamon you encounter is the real Ba'alzamon, or just someone else with the same name, pretending to be him.

Also known as the Netweaver, his net caught a woman who unwove his thread from the pattern.

Bel Tine
When Two Rivers folk relax after work. Named after a brand of liqueur distilled from Two Rivers apples: "Now that the tilling's done, it's Bel Tine!"

Black Ajah
Also known as the Jenn Ajah, since Aes Sedai were servants to all, and unlike the other Ajahs, the Black Ajah still serves, even if it is a different master. (See Ajah .)

Black Wind, The
The evil wind that stalks the Ways, said to have once been a gentle, caressing breeze before being possessed by the soul of Steven King. (See Machin Shin & Ways .)

Blasted Lands
Desolated lands surrounding Shayol Ghul, beyond the Great Blight, comprised of Long Island, New Jersey, Connecticut and Westchester County. (See Shayol Ghul & Great Blight .)

Borderlands, The
The lands bordering the Great Blight, comprised of Pennsylvania, Ontario, Quebec and Vermont. (See Great Blight & Blasted Lands )

Breaking of the World, The
The cataclysmic passing from one age to another, such as when you turn 21, or 30, or 40, or 65, or....
[Bob Dylan: "Times They Are A Changing"]

The line, it is drawn, the taint, it is cast
The Dark One will later break fast
And the present Age will soon be the past
The order is rapidly fading
The first one now will soon be the last
For the times, they are a Breaking....

A fragment from a song allegedly popular during the Time of Madness, author unknown.

Old Tongue for overalls.

Capital city and largest seaport of Andor. Has never been taken by force, only by individuals and small parties able to sneak in over the garden wall.

The playground of the Houses playing the Great Game.
[Animals: "House Of The Rising Sun"]

There is a Hill in Cairhien, they call the Golden Dawn,
it's been the ruin of many a noble,
and me, Great Lord, I'm one.

My mother is a Mother, she patches cuts and scrapes,
my husband he's a gambling man,
drinks down in the Foregate.

My husband is a gambler, he goes from town to town,
the only time he's satisfied is when
he drinks his liquor down.

Go tell my baby sister, never do what I have done,
shun that Game in Cairhien,
Land of the Rising Sun.

One foot on the platform, the other's on the barge,
I'm going back to Cairhien,
to play Daes Dae'mar.

Going back to Cairhien, my race is almost run,
I'm going to spend the rest of my life,
beneath that Rising Sun.

A useless sword in the Heart of the Stone, In Tear. It can't be touched, and it's not even a real sword. What good is it?

In the Old Tongue, First Among Equals. Because the Car'a'carn can channel, he is usually considered more equal than the others. Also called He Who Comes With Dawn, because of a line in the Aiel prophecy about him appearing with someone named Dawn.

One of the nations wrung from Artur Hawkwing's empire during the War of the Hundred Years. It weakened thereafter, and the last traces vanished so long ago that no traces of civilization remain. It's capitol city was called Peoria.

The act of using the One Power to cause an episode of commercial programming to appear on a special ter'angreal called a te'avee.

Children of the Light
Devout soldiers who bring out the worst in people, all for the common good.

In the Old Tongue, the Return, or The Day of His Return.

"Asking nothing do I serve against the day of his Coming,
yet do I serve in the sure and certain hope of life everlasting.
Surely the faithful shall be exalted in the land,
exalted above the unbelievers,
exalted above thrones,
yet do I humbly serve against the Corenne.
Swift come the Corenne.
Swift come the Great Lord of the Dark to guide us and rule the
world forever and ever."

Clan chief wannabe of the Jimbo Aiel. Led his armies against Rand al'Thor and was defeated by a young man indistinguishable from Artur Hawkwing's toenail.

Council of the Nine
Supposed ruling body in Illian. Membership is for life, but the constitution specified no process for electing or appointing new members when the old ones passed away. Hence, the Council hasn't really existed since the last of the Nine died many hundreds of years ago. The Kings of Illian have maintained the facade of an existing Council, though, to make the commoners think the King's power is checked.

An indestructible substance created during the Age of Legends, it was originally used to manufacture combs and to package junk foods.

Daes Dae'mar
In the Old Tongue, Politics.

Old Tongue for Submissive One. Certain Seanchan women who are willingly held prisoner by means of an a'dam and used by the Seanchan for 'many' purposes. (See A'dam, Marath'damane , & Sul'dam .)

Dark One
(See Piglet .)

Vile, depraved people who scorn the internetters who seek the Light and worship the Creator.

Minions of the Shadow who post followups with 35+ lines of cascaded text and 1 line of new material. Their passing can be marked by the 10-line .signature footprint they leave behind.

One of the Forsaken, one whose strengths are invisibility and inconspicuity. (See Forsaken & Sir not appearing in this Book.)

Dragon, The
In the Age of Legends, Lews Therin "em/Bubba/" Telamon, Lord of the Morning, also know as Kinslayer. Sitter of the Tamyrlin Seat, summoner of the Nine Rods of Dominion, and chief male chauvinist of the Aes Sedai.

Dragon, False
A Dragon born before the Prophecy was ready: A Dragon Preborn. Among those who could channel, the most powerful were Raovac Windvane, Davidian, Yurian Stonebutt, Fabio, and Rogain.

Dragon Reborn
Rand al'Thor, a man soon to have three wives and worse: three mothers-in-law.

"The Light shine on you, and the Creator shelter you.
The Last embrace of the Mother welcome you home."

Viren R. Shah, Far Aldazar Din

Dragon's Fang
Ancient symbol of Lews Therin Telethon, Lord of the Morning Salescall. Currently used as an epithet for those who awaken people from their slumber for bogus reasons.

Tenement landlords to Trollocs. (See Shayol Ghul .)

A particularly useless Aes Sedai whose only talent is letting her mind wander during the day when there are lots of important chores to be done, like digging holes and filling them back in. Then again, no Aes Sedai is particularly useful, so these aren't much different from the others.

Aiel Wise Ones with a Talent for Freudian Psychology.

Heavier than a mountain, lighter than a feather, and smaller than a breadbox.

Ebou Dar
A seaport on the Sea of Storms known for its wild nightlife. A popular Spring Break vacation spot.

(See Sniffer .)

(See Sniffer .)

Fain, Padan
Once a dastardly Darkfriend, now infected by the evil Mashadar of Shadar Logoth, this man would be downright dangerous if he could just figure out who he is. An evil Johnny Appleseed, sowing seeds of suspicion and corruption as he walks across the land.
[Indigo Girls: "Closer To Fine"]

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between Dark and Light
The best thing you ever done for me
Is to help me free my life from Shadar Logoth;
Twas lonely life, Aridhol
Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I cast my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of hatred till I sank it, I'm trapped by Mashadar.

I went to the Dark One, I went to his mountain
I looked for the children, I gazed on his fountain
There's more than one person for these actions pointing me in
a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to Fain
The closer I am to Fain

I went to see the Tower of Aes Sedai
With a triptych of red Bonwhin and a drawing from the west
She never did bonding or use a manly Warder
She fell for my performance, she thought she could see through me
I spent four weeks prostrate to the Amyrlin, got my dagger
And I was free!


I went by the Ways to Toman Head.
To sow dark plans in a High Lord, or possibly an Empress
I wound up using Whitecloaks like I used Darkfriends before
To scourge the Two Rivers, to flay them was the goal
I went in seeking Rand al'Thor.

I went to the Dark One, I went to his mountain
I looked for the children, I gazed on his fountain
We went to the Dark One, we went to his mountain
We looked for the children, we gazed on his fountain
Yeah, we're free from the Dark One, we're free from the Shadow
We're free from Aridhol and we hooked up with the Shaido
There's more than one person for these actions pointing me in
a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to Fain
The closer I am to Fain
The closer I am to Fain

"Closer to Fain", composed by Indigo Maidens, from "Songs of the Dragon"

Far Dareis Mai
An Aiel warrior society composed solely of women with dirty minds. (See Maidens' Kiss .)

Farstrider, Jain
A roving investigative reporter with the uncanny ability to disguise himself as anyone and appear in unexpected places.
Subject of many books and stories, the most notable being an exhaustive travelogue compiled from his notes by
Joode Ji'ardelhi titled "Gallivanting About the Glove." Believed to have tailed Moiraine on the way to Baerlon (See TEotW, Cover), and suspected of being a former Warder and wolfbrother, and disguising himself as Silvie in Tel'aran'rhiod, as well as being the true identity of Padan Fain.Currently believed to being residing in the Mountains of Mist near Eldrene's Veil, though some believe he is currently undercover working on an expose of mistreatment of animals and violation of labor laws disguised as a handsome menagerie owner. Other known identities are a sheep farmer from the Two Rivers, the false dragon Mazrim Taim, a sex slave for Graendal, and some fat guy named Bob. Believed to have a weakness for marches by Jon Philip Susa.

Fires of Heaven, The
The screams of agony heard at regular periods in Tel'aran'rhiod, as some unsuspecting fool asks the question Isn't there a Jordan newsgroup for this junk? (See Tel'aran'rhiod .)

Five Powers
Fire, Earth, Air (Wind), Water, and Spirit; the fundamental elements of the One Power. Fire burns Spirit, Spirit scatters Wind, Wind blows Water, Water erodes Earth, and Earth smothers Fire. There was a saying among male Aes Sedai during the Age of Legends: "There is no river that enough earth couldn't dam or enough fire evaporate, nor is there a wind so strong that an earthen wall cannot deflect or a hot enough fire fend off its chill." Any equivalent saying among women is irrelevant.

Flame of Tar Valon
When the fires of heaven burnt the White Tower.

Name given to thirteen of the most powerful Aes Sedai in the Age of Legends, thus among the most powerful parlor magicians ever known, who went over to the Dark One during the War of the Shadow in return for the promise of immortality, universal health care, and 4.0 GPAs.They are Lil' Abner, Jimmy Dean, Gargamel, Beable, Dopey, Grettel, Oilcan, Blitzen, Missing Orphan Annie, Sleepy, Sir MPS, Sam I Am, and Grumpy.

Gentling, v.
The act of stilling on a man who can channel, causing them to lose their desire to live. An act worse than death, such that most men would rather die before being gentled.
[Dylan Thomas: "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"]

Do not go gentled into that good night,
Each Age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the taint.

Though wise men at their end know Dark is right,
Because their words had channeled no lightning they
Do not go gentled into that good night.

The Dragons, who were not true, cried how bright
Their frail flows might have danced on a final day,
Raged, raged against the dying of the taint.

Wilders, who caught and sang the Light in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentled into that good night.

Halfmen, undead, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the taint.

And you, Great Lord, there in your fiery deep,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentled into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the taint.

Dalon Tomas

Any of a variety of entertainers dabbling in thievery, spying, political manipulation, assassinations, and adultery. Often hide in small towns to protect their former identities.

One of the Forsaken, with a penchant for S&M and B&D. Has a certain attraction to balding men. In the Old Tongue, Nasty harlot. In the Trolloc Tongue, Top of the Night.

Gray Man

1. A Darkfriend Whitecloak.
2. A man who can't decide between the Children and the Dark One.

Great Blight
A region in the far north, entirely corrupted by the Dark One. Comprised of the Upstate regions of New York State. (See Shayol Ghul .)

Great Hunt for the Horn
A foolish search in a vain attempt to keep the Horn of Valere from the hands - and mouth - of the Shadow. (See Horn of Valere .)

Great Lord of the Dark
The name by which Darkfriends refer to the Dark One, claiming that to type his true name would be blasphemous.(See Naming the Dark One .)

Great Serpent
An ancient symbol for time, older than the Wheel of Time, since he's the one what started the whole cycle anyway.

Hawkwing, Artur
Legendary king, Artur Paendrag Billy-Bob Jack Joe Smith. Freshmen class vice president, football team defensive captain, Golden Crane club, ruled the civilized world FY 943-972. Sent armies to squash the rutabaga farmers' rebellion in West Manetheren, but his soldiers were never heard from again. (The military postmaster did receive some odd letters from lovesick sheep, though.) His death set off the War of the Hundred Yards. His sign was a brown pigskin in flight.

Heron-Mark Sword
The sword of blademaster, so named from this tattered remnant from what the people of the Age of Legends called the old volumes: "One, two! One, two! 'A Cat Struts Through!' The heron blade went snicker-snack!"

Horn of Valere
The legendary object of the Great Hunt of the Horn, it will call back dead heroes from the grave to fight for the Shadow at Tarmon Gai'don. The souls of the dead are the flocks of the Shepherd of the Night, Grassburner's flamethrowers, Heartsbane's cheap cholesterol confectionery; thus they will be part of the Lord of the Grave's forces on the Day of His Return.

"In the last, suborn fight
'gainst the fall of long Light,
the mountains stand guard,
and the dead shall be My ward,
for their graves are no bar to My call."

A hitherto unknown Dark Prophecy

Hundred Companions, The
The title of a set of gleemen's tales about an elite corp of women who worked for the Kinslayer Escort Service.

A port city on the Sea of Storms, famous for supplying much of the world's cosmetics, most notably the fabled fragrances from the Perfumed Quarter, au de toilet and Canal #5, named for the waterway crossed by the Bridge of Flowers.

Illuminators, Guild of
A Shienaran labor union, whose members walk the streets each evening lighting lamps to keep Myrddraal from hiding under beds and in closets.

Chief of the Forsaken, known as the Betrayer of Hope, because the forces of Shadow had hoped to accomplish something in the past 3000 years but Ishy screwed it all up. Has been killed at least 3 times by Rand and is now believed to be hiding in suburban Maryland.

The Aiel system of honor, which has many levels and is very confusing. By way of small example, there is more honor in finding one's way across a dark room then in turning on the lights, while using a candle earns the user more ji than turning on the lights, but not as much as stubbing your toe, unless you stub your toe on a sword. Also, there is more ji in answering the tel'a'fon on the first ring, but less than calling the person yourself. If an Aiel cannot come to the phone when someone calls, they have toh to that caller until they return the call. Aiel will never touch an answering machine, holding anyone who uses one in contempt rivaled only by their contempt for treekillers.

Kadere, Hadnan
A man who paid the price for selling the wrong knowledge. A man with enormous respect for his friends, holding them as near to his heart as his own sister.

Karaethon Cycle, The
Photosynthetic process consisting of the Dark (Shadow) cycle and the Light cycle.

Keeper of the Chronicles
The illustrious and devoted manager of the FAQ . The FAQ is available via anonymous ftp at in /pub/people/viren/jordan.

Lace of Ages
The Jordan collection, sold at Victoria's Secret and other fine stores.

al'Lan "Birdman" Mandragoran, diademed battle lord, uncrowned King of Malkier, and champion backboard-shatterer in Lord Agelmar's court. Was a punching bag for Moiraine until she disappeared through the doorway in Cairhien, will soon become a punching bag for Nynaeve, unless he ends up as sex toy for Myrelle. Or maybe he'll be a sex toy for Nynaeve -- she has fuller breasts anyway.

In the Old Tongue, "Mistress of the Dark." One of the Forsaken, perhaps the craziest next to Ishamael. Unlike the other Forsaken, she chose this name herself because she hated her true name, "Elvira."
[Indigo Girls: "Land of Canaan"]

You can go to the Waste,
to find your, your love of power.
You say we can supplant the Dark One babe,
You're bound to realize, Honey, it's not that clear.
I'm not your promised land
I'm not your Chosen one
I'm not your Car'a'carn, Lanfear,
Waiting for you under the sun.

Lanfear's Chorus:
I'm lonely tonight, I'm missing you now.
I'm wanting your love and you're giving it out.
I'm lonely tonight, I'm lonely tonight, I'm lonely tonight.

Well the meanings changed (for what it's worth),
it's just a senseless Game.
I should think of love, but it's fear every time I hear
your heartbeat strain.
It's not the Forsaken,
It's not the Wheel of Time,
It's just the Cairhien skyline
telling me you're not mine.

Lanfear's Chorus

My blood is running dry,
My skin is, my skin is growing thin
For every time I find that void
I lose a little bit of me, to Lews Therin.
It's just the Karaethon cycle, why can't we
bring it all to Tarmon Gai'don.
Filled inside with saidin, Lanfear,
Ta'maral'ailen is not on my side.

Lanfear's Chorus

I'm not your promised land, I'm not your Chosen one.
I'm not your promised land, I'm not your Chosen one.
I'm not your Car'a'carn, Lanfear,
I'm not your Car'a'carn, Lanfear,
I'm not your Car'a'carn, Lanfear.

Waiting for you by the Rising Sun, I'm lonely tonight.

Car'a'carn, composed by Indigo Maidens, from Songs of the Dragon

Loial, son of Arrogant, son of Halon. An Ogier from Stedding Shanghai who may be married as punishment for his wayward behavior.

Also called "The City of Brotherly Love", it is technically the capitol city of Murandy. Allegiance to the crown has always been spotty at best, waxing and waning with how easily the reigning monarch can be manipulated, bribed, or ignored. Deceit, disloyalty, and robbery are the norms. Lugarders would steal candy from babies, except that Lugarder babies are notoriously sharp thieves and would make off with their wallets.

A Lugard gal, she came to town, to see what she could see.
With a wink of her eye, and a smile on her lip,
she bared it all to me, to me.
With an ankle slim, and skin so pale,
I became the owner of her slip, her slip.
With a soft little sigh, and a gay little laugh,
I had my way so free. So free.

Machera, Elyas
A wolf in man's clothing.

Machin Shin

1. The Black Wind; a wind, an evil wind; a wind so evil. Haunts the Ways, Lurks the Ways, the Ways so black, black as your soul. Eats your soul, steals your soul, your soul so sweet, scream as it feeds... (See Black Wind )
2. A pair of identical leg guards for sok'kher.

In the Old Tongue, Seeker. Name of a man seeking to lead a Tuatha'an caravan.

Maidens' Kiss
The way foolish young men shave their beards. (See Far Dareis Mai .)

A region, once one of the Borderlands, now consumed by the Great Blight. Comprised of the Finger Lakes region of Central New York. (See Great Blight .)

A thorn removed from the Dark One's foot, and a bramble removed from the Dark One's hand.

The capitol city of Saldaea, located exactly 26.9 leagues from nowhere.

In the Old Tongue, One Who Must Be Dominated. (See Damane .)

An evil mist that lurks the ruins of Aridhol and kills whatever life it encounters. Believed by some scholars to be an outgrowth of acid rain.

Matrim Cauthon
Young man from the Two Rivers. A practical joker who has always been lucky, except with women. Wishes he had Rand's luck with women, or even Perrin's. He is ta'veren and doesn't want to be, although he doesn't mind it so much when it helps him win bets or saves his life.
[Billy Joel: "A Minor Variation"]

When bubbles want to find me, I ain't hard to find
They know where I am.
Like a pack of Darkhounds running the Wild Hunt
They tear up a man.
But I'm a lucky man
So now it don't really matter
More of the same thing
Don't even hurt it's all part of the Pattern
But still in all it's a small consolation
I didn't want to be a bloody ta'veren.

Ain't no way to fight it, darling
Ain't no way around it, baby
Ain't no way to lose it, honey
Nowhere to hide and believe me I've tried to shake it.

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel the tug
And I've had enough
I'm ready for the next time it pulls me again
'Cause I've been lucky
It doesn't faze me.
But now it's made my decision
I must be crazy.
It's not as though I don't know what condition
Until I'm through with this flaming situation
Pass me the wine, I'm just a bloody ta'veren.

From A Bloody Ta'veren, composed by Bil al'Jol, a member of the Band of the Red Hand.

Independent city-state on the Sea of Storms, just east of Tear. Mayene is constantly in political conflict with Tear, but keeps its independence through providing obscure sexual favors to Tairen lords and winning the annual game of Parcheesi.

A tiny spider with a tendency to get tangled in her own webs.

An Aes Sedai of Cairhienin origin, which is to say worse than a normal Aes Sedai and worse than a normal Cairhienin.
[CCR: "Proud Mary"]

Left a good House in Cairhien
Workin' for the Light every night and day,
But I never lost a minute of sleepin'
Worryin' 'bout the way things might have been

Big Wheel keep on turnin'
Great Serpent keep on eatin'
Rollin', rollin', rollin' through the Ages.

Cleaned a lot of plates in Tar Valon,
Pumped a lot of water onto my Gaidin
But I never saw the bad side of the Dragon
'Til I walked the rings down in Rhuidean.

Big Wheel keep on turnin'
Proud Moiraine keep on burnin'
Burnin', burnin', burnin' by the river.

If you come down to the river
Bet we're gonna find a future to live
You don't have to worry 'bout hurting a woman,
People of the Dragon are happy to give.

Big Wheel keep on turnin'
Ta'veren keep on pullin'
Weavin', weavin', weavin' the Lace of Ages.

Proud Moiraine, composed by Blin'da Ay'Bel, performed by Emond's Manetheren Revival, from Songs of the Dragon

A young women who takes antihistamines to combat her Feminine Nasal Disorder[TM]. It works some of the time, but it not completely effective. She sometimes suffers from a side effect, namely prophetic hallucinations. (See Sniffer .)

Champions of the Dark One's Diet -- so thin that when they turn sideways they seem to disappear. Commanders of Trollocs, they have certain powers stemming from Richard Simmons, including the ability to cause paralyzing fear with a look.

Naming the Dark One
Typing the true name of the Great Lord of the Net draws his attention, inevitably bringing ill fortune at best, disaster at worst, for it is said that He greps all newsgroups for his name.

A women who has entered the White Tower to be taught how to lose touch with the world. The first step is in this process is to use up all the person's spare time with useless chores, such as washing dishes and scrubbing floors, to prevent them from keeping up with events outside the Tower.

A women, now wiser than when she was the Wisdom of Emond's Field. (See Sniffer .)

Oaths, Three

1. Oaths taken by the Aes Sedai, upon being raised to full sisterhood.
1. to never speak the plain truth.
2. to make no weapon capable of holding more than eight rounds of ammunition, and to make people wait five days before they can receive weapons capable of holding more than one round.
3. never to use the Power as a weapon except when really pissed.
2. Some believe the second oath to be unconstitutional.
3. Matrim Cauthon's three favorite phrases: "Blood and bloody ashes!", "Burn me!", and "Luck!" (See
Matrim Cauthon .)

A non-human race, characterized by inaction and indecision.

Old Tongue

1. Why Balthamel couldn't talk.
2. When known in small quantities, a criteria for snobbery over those unfamiliar with it.
3. An eclectic collection of ancient profanities used by scholars who wish not to detract from their erudite reputations.

One Power, The
A mathematical impossibility: 1 saidin + 1 saidar = One Power. This paradox is the basis for the explanation of how balefire works as it does. The proof is left as an exercise for the reader. (See Greyskull.)

Pattern of an Age
Those wrinkles you get when you get old.

Perrin Aybara
Young man from the Two Rivers, recently married to Zarine Bashere, cousin of the Queen of Saldaea. Can speak to wolves, but would quickly trade it to either Rand or Mat for their superior ability to speak to women.

Questioners, The
Guardians of the Whitebridge, they are supposed to ask three questions of each person entering the city: What is your name? Why are you here? Do you have any goods to declare? Answer to their satisfaction and they'll let you pass, else they'll toss you in the river.
When they're in a bad mood, though, they've been know to ask things like the airspeed of a 747 or the data transfer rate of a magtape.

A man so dead there's nothing left for the ravens.

Red Ajah
(See Feminazi.)

Rand al'Thor
Young man from the Two Rivers and the Dragon Reborn. Wishes he were as good with women as Mat, or even Perrin.

An Aiel, clan chief of the Doodad Aiel, and the host of Fantasy Island.

Intended to be a city of unparallel splendor, the buildings were abandoned and left unfinished when the Jenn Aiel went broke. In the Old Tongue, Dallas.

In the Old Tongue, That's an Angreal!

Female half of the True Source, causes post nasal drip.

Male half of the True Source, causes those who use it to go mad. Mad channelers typically strike out at the domineering women who belittled them and made their very existence a living nightmare by constantly reminding them of their shortcomings and undermining their self respect and showing embarrassing pictures of them as toddlers and... maybe those men aren't so crazy after all.

A land where the Queens have a hankering for dirty-dancing.

Dae! Saldae-saldae-saldae-Saldaea
Dey like come and they wanna go home.

From the Ice-Pepper Boat Song, author unknown.

One of the Forsaken. Once a friend of Lews Therin, but now his enemy because he always wanted to be taller.

Sea Folk
Sea Folk Sail. Sail Folk Sail.

Artur Hawkwing's brave New World.

Seekers for Truth
Seanchan Questioners.

One of the Forsaken; she is partly mad.

Servants, Hall of the
In the Age of Legends, where the Aes Sedai met their Aiel servants.

Shadar Logoth
A city abandoned and shunned since the Trolloc Wars. It is so tainted with evil that even the stones and dust steal candy from babes and push old ladies into busy streets. Originally called Detroit.

Shai'Tan (kah-EYE-bow)
One whose name should be neither spoken nor written. (See Naming the Dark One .)

A closed land where men are kept in chains like animals. Jain Farstrider's experiences there are described in his book The Travels of Jain Farstrider, in the chapter entitled Amazon Women from Shara.

Shayol Ghul
In the Old Tongue, New York City. The site of the Dark One's prison, rumored to be somewhere in Yonkers.

A country, one of the borderlands, much colder than the Plains of Shiner. Lamps are lit each night to help spot the light-blinded fools who scale the walls, and people are not allowed to wear their baseball caps backwards. (See Illuminators .)

An Aiel headpiece that leaves only the face uncovered. Dav Let'mon:The shoufa is not for sale!

A woman, and someone who is suffering from Feminine Nasal Disorder[TM]. But I had no need to say it twice.

The inborn ability to lose touch with the world. (See Aes Sedai .)

Spine of the World, The
The mountain range that stretches due south for hundred of leagues directly below Tarwin's Gap. So named because the mountain range resembled Tarwin's back equally as well as gap resembled Tarwin's head. (See Kinslayer's Dagger.)

Ogier homelands where life is peaceful and serene because the One Power cannot be used or even sensed within a stedding. Have strange names such as Stedding Tofu, Stedding Horsefly, Stedding Canteen, and Steddi Eddie.

The process by which Two Rivers brandy is produced. (See Bel Tine .)

Stone of Tear
The great fortress in the city of Tear. It has never been successfully removed, despite countless attempts to do so over the years. (See Tear .)

Old Tongue for Bitch With The Leash. The dominant member of a Seanchan lesbian bondage pair. (See Sul'dam .)

A weed cultivated by folks in the Two Rivers; when smoked, affects the mind such that one feels 'wool-headed'. I didn't inhale. -- Bili al'Jeff Clinton, a Taren Ferry man.

The result of not pasteurizing saidin.

In the Trolloc Tongue, Spill the blood of, as in Tai'Shar Manetheren! (See Manetheren .)

The use of the One Power for specific applications. The best known of these, of course, is Heating. Some, such as Traveling, the ability to shift oneself from one floor to another without climbing the intervening stairs, have been lost. Others such as Forestalling (the ability to put off answering a call, by taking a message) are now found only rarely if at all. The talent of Drumming (nay, even having a sense of rhythm) has been lost for over five centuries. A slightly more common talent is the ability to spot taverns.

The result of the Marx Brothers being out in the sun.

Tarmon Gai'don
The day after the warranty expires on the Third Age.

Tar Valon
In the Old Tongue, Poor Prison. The island home of the Aes Sedai that it seems anyone can sneak away from.


1. A Gordian Knot in the Pattern of an Age that entangles any life-thread that comes near it.
2. An alternate spelling of Tavern, so known because they tend to attract lots of people.

In the Old Tongue, "Kidney of the World". (See Stone of Tear .)

In the Old Tongue, "The Ether World", an odd space that was believed by ancients to connects various parts of the real, waking world through the Net. Also called "The Unseeing World", for its resemblance to reality is tenuous at best. Most have never seen or even heard of it; a few touch it unwittingly and are confused (or flamed) by it; some can connect to it occasionally through use of a special device called a Ter'mineal; Netters can enter it at will. In Tel'aran'rhiod, objects tend to disappear based on their permanency, but usually reappear in cycles of approximately two months. It is said that every time someone enters Tel'aran'rhiod, they lose a little bit of what makes them human; this explains the tendency of Netters to flame people new to Tel'aran'rhiod.

An eternally fog-shrouded valley below the slopes of Shayol Ghul, where Trolloc forges make weapons that take a taint from that place. Generally rumored to be either under the East River or around Wall Street, though some claim it is near Hoboken. (See Shayol Ghul .)

A wandering people who drive brightly painted wagons and dress in garish clothes, including tab collars, wide ties, bellbottoms, polyester leisure suits, and platform heels. They follow a totally pacifist philosophy called the Way of the Leaf, also known as the Covenant of the Seventies, or Flower Power. They travel in search of The Song, which was lost during the Breaking of the World; Historians suspect the song is of a variety called Disco. They steal children in exchange for mending pots, and have a penchant for smoking tabac. (See Tabac & Tuatha'an .)

A bird-brained Ogier.

Creatures of the Dark One, spawned from the forges of Nuc'Lear in New Jersey during the War of the Shadow. They are divided into tribe-like bands, chief among them being the Al'ghol, Ay'Deah, Ba'sik, Fho'traan, Mo'dhula, Ko'bol, and the Pas'khal.

True Source
The correct source, as opposed to the previous versions of the source. See sccs(1).

In the Old Tongue, Seventies Preservation Society. (See Tinkers .)

Two Rivers
Formerly part of ancient Manetheren, now referred to by various names such as downcountry, back woods, shit-splat, and where?. Villages in the Two Rivers are Emond's Field, Watch Hill, Deven Ride, Taren Ferry, and Peoria.

Village Council
In the village and towns, the male civic leaders who would handle the towns affairs quite well if it wasn't for the meddling interference of the Women's Circle. (See Women's Circle .)

War of the Shadow
A horrific battle in which the greatest prestidigitators of the Age of Legends competed against each other to see who could make the fiercest shadow animals with their hands. Worse than Trollocs were made during the War of the Shadow -- Lan 'Handshadowman' Mandragoran.

The half of an Aes Sedai/Gaidin pair you can trust, as s/he will simply kill you if there's a problem. Some Aes Sedai are so untrustworthy they need several Warders. The Warder receives several benefits from the bonding, including the ability to last long periods without sleep. What the Aes Sedai gets from the bonding is a closely held secret, although it is believed to have something to do with the phrase Honor to service.

Ways, The

1. The methods used by the Questioners to draw confessions out of suspected Darkfriends: We have Ways of making you talk, yes? -- Jaichim Carridin
2. A gift to the Ogier from the post-breaking male Aes Sedai to which they gave refuge, which the Ogier should have looked into the mouth of, and are now afraid to.
[William Wordsworth: "She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways"]

It lurked among the untrodden Ways
Beyond the gates by grove,
A wind born to that darken'd maze:
Twas not a child of love.

An evil by the Guiding stone,
Half hidden from the eye.
Dark as the night, when not one light
Is shining in the sky.

It blows alone, and few can know
How many ceased to be;
But they are in Shadow, and, oh,
The difference to me!

Wilim son of Word son of Zworth, famed Ogier poet of Stedding Tofu.

Wheel of Time
Time is a Wheel with seven lugnuts, each lugnut an Age.
[Journey: "Wheel in the Sky"]

Lanfear is here again, oh lord
Haven't been home in a year or more
I hope she won't be around much longer

Sent two letters from across the waste,
A Fox of gray, a door of clay
Ooh, I'm going through this redstone door

The Wheel of Time keeps on turnin'
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow
Oh, The Wheel of Time keeps on turnin'

I've been trying to make it home
Got to make it before too long
I can't take this very much longer
I'm stranded in the Eelfinn plane.
Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again
The mornin' sun is risin'
This Cairhien day...

Oh, The wheel of Time keeps on turnin'
I don't know where I'll be tomorrow
Ooo the fires of heaven keep on burnin'

-- The Wheel of Time, composed by Jorn Naeh.

White Ajah
Conservative backlash to Affirmative Action practices amongst the Aes Sedai.

White Tower
The ivory tower, in Tar Valon, wherein dwell the Aes Sedai.

Zealous men who dress in white sheets and hunt down and kill Darkfriends. They like to leave fiery crosses, to signify the burning Light of Truth. Their preferred method of killing comes from the legend of Child Lynch, who always hung suspected Darkfriends from the nearest tree. Why, when he'd walk out of the Dome of Truth with his trusty cord in hand, people'd say, There's gonna be a Lynch-ing!


1. The reason Rand and Mat prefer Aiel women.
2. A women who lost touch with humanity on her own without being tutored in it. (See
Spark .)


1. believed by women, to be unavailable to men due to their chest hair.
2. In villages, a woman chosen by the Women's Circle for her ability to belittle men. Most believe themselves the equal of the village Mayor, and some even have the audacity to consider themselves his superior.

Wise Ones
Aiel women, some of whom who can channel or dreamwalk. Similar to Aes Sedai, but without lackadaisical style and sense of humor.

Women's Circle
Originally, the title of the thirteen Aes Sedai used to ceremonially gentle a man who can channel. The gleeman's stories of this has lead to the name being adopted by the main women's social clique in the villages, since the Mayor -- or any man -- is rendered powerless when confronted by them.

Zarine Bashere
(See Sniffer .)


Accepted Aes Sedai Age of Legends Aginor Aiel Aiel Waste Ajah Amadicia Amyrlin Seat Andor Angreal Arad Doman Asmodean Avendesora Aviendha Balthamel Ba'alzamon Be'lal Bel Tine Black Ajah Black Wind Blasted Lands Borderlands Breaking of the World Cadin'sor Caemlyn Cairhien Callandor Car'a'carn Carallain Channel Children of the Light Corenne Couladin Council of the Nine Cuendillar Daes Dae'mar Damane Dark One Darkfriends Darkhounds Demandred Dragon Dragon Dragon Reborn Dragon's Fang Dreadlords Dreamer Dreamwalker Duty Ebou Dar Egwene Elayne Fain, Padan Far Dareis Mai Farstrider Fires of Heaven Five Powers Flame of Tar Valon Forsaken Gentling Gleeman Graendal Gray Man Great Blight Great Hunt for the Horn Great Lord of the Dark Great Serpent Hawkwing Heron-Mark Sword Horn of Valere Hundred Companions Illian Illuminators Ishamael James Parry Ji'e'toh Kadere Karaethon Cycle Keeper of the Chronicles Lace of Ages Lan Lanfear Loial Lugard Machera Machin Shin Mahdi Maidens' Kiss Malkier Manetheren Maradon Marath'damane Mashadar Matrim Cauthon Mayene Moghedien Moiraine Min Myrddraal Naming the Dark One Novice Nynaeve Oaths Ogier Old Tongue One Power Pattern of an Age Perrin Aybara Piglet Questioners Rahvin Red Ajah Rand al'Thor Rhuarc Rhuidean Sa'Angreal Saidar Saidin Saldaea Sammael Sea Folk Seanchan Seekers for Truth Semirhage Servants, Hall of the Shadar Logoth Shai'Tan Shara Shayol Ghul Shienar Shoufa Sniffer Spark Spine of the World Stedding Stilling Stone of Tear Sul'dam Tabac Taint Tai'Shar Talents Tanchico Tarmon Gai'don Tar Valon Ta'veren Tear Tel'aran'rhiod Thakan'dar Tinkers Treesinger Trollocs True Source Tuatha'an Two Rivers Village Council War of the Shadow Warder Ways Wheel of Time White Ajah White Tower Whitecloaks Wilder Wisdom Wise Ones Women's Circle Zarine Bashere